he doesn't like me. he planned to move to england to work there. he never intended to come back malaysia to be with me. he told me he would return to malaysia but now it seemed that he has changed his mind. he asked me to go to england too but did he ask me to go along with him? i don't think so. he just treated me as one of his ordinary friends. i thought i was special to him but it turned out not. we shared many memories together. i have known him for about 12 years now. he was my best male friend. although i don't believe two people of different sex can remain good friends, it seemed we are the living proof. i would really like for us to be more than just friends but i think he prefers us to be just like now. i've never asked what his feelings for me really are. the last time i saw him was about 7 years. till then we lost contact until recently. maybe he thought i was still the ugly duckling he used to hang out. but did he really see the new me now. of course, i don't want to be liked solely on my outer looks. but i thought the combination would win him over.
on the other hand, do i really like him? i am close to 30 now and everyone has been asking when is my turn to walk down the aisle? my friends got married one by one and these have really pushed me into thinking hard about getting hitched. but how do i go about that when i don't even have that special someone. maybe i am desperate and that's why i really want him to come back to malaysia.
i hope he will change his plan. but that is impossible because he told me he is saving hard now. and of course he is serious. as for me, i have planned that if my life has not changed when i hit 30, i would think seriously of changing my path of life. i would return back to study and besides that finding the other half of me. wish me luck!!
